Happy New Year!
Last night, I did something I haven't done in months. Sat down with paper, pen and ink and just played. Reflecting on 2014, looking forward to 2015. Just created open space to see what emerges. After recovering a cheap clearance sketchbook I picked up in London this Summer, this is the first thing I added. 2014 was an absolutely incredible year. It started in fatigue, illness, depression. Recovery was slow, but it has been steady. I fell in love with a wonderful man I hope to be celebrating many new years with.
AND YET, the thing weighing me down is that I did not finish my second book like I intended. Amazing camaraderie, adventures, discovery this year.
AND YET, I am plagued by another year passing and this important work not being done.
I have always had an antagonistic relationship with time. It marches on. I fucking hate it. I have more ideas than I could ever fit into the hours I will have. I spend too much of my energy cursing time.
In 2014, I got a second tattoo. The one on my right wrist in the photo. It's story is long and complicated and a beautiful turning point this Spring. I am pondering creating an illustrated memoir of the past 5 years including the story behind the symbol and the tattoo. The shortest answer to the "What is your tattoo?" question is - it reminds me to be gentle with myself. Self-compassion. Be more present. I've got plenty of tactical goals for the year and lists to conquer. But this is different.
My most important resolution for 2015 is to make friends with time. Practice not frying myself out thinking of 6 things at once. Worrying. Fretting about what is undone. Spend my energy in the now. Monotasking. Focused. Present.
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